Beyond the Box
Beyond the Box with Monica Kelsey is a powerful podcast dedicated to raising awareness, educating the public, and advocating for change in the fight against infant abandonment. Hosted by Monica Kelsey, Founder and CEO of Safe Haven Baby Boxes, this podcast dives deep into real stories, expert insights, and the life-saving impact of Safe Haven laws and baby box programs across the country.
Each episode features compelling conversations with firefighters, legal experts, healthcare professionals, policymakers, adoptive families, and even mothers who have used Safe Haven Baby Boxes. Together, they shed light on the challenges, victories, and ongoing efforts to provide safe, legal, and anonymous surrender options for parents in crisis.
From heartwarming rescue stories to policy discussions shaping the future, Beyond the Box is a must-listen for anyone passionate about saving lives and supporting vulnerable infants.
Beyond the Box
Grace Found: A Baby Box Adoption Story
A newborn placed in a Safe Haven Baby Box. Two parents on the verge of giving up. One life-changing phone call that turned a headline into a home. We sit down with Jennifer and Mario—adoptive parents of Gracie, the third baby ever surrendered in a baby box—to trace a path from infertility and heartbreak to a living room full of laughter, crayons, and Ozzy Osbourne sing-alongs.
They walk us through the near-misses in foster care, the moment they read about a nearby surrender just five miles from home, and the whirlwind that followed: interviews, a car seat on the sidewalk, and Mario standing in stunned silence, staring at his daughter for hours. We also get real about what happened next—an unexpected media spotlight, online backlash, and the firm boundaries they set to keep the focus on awareness, not voyeurism. Through it all, Jennifer shares a tender, unwavering message for Gracie’s birth mom: love then, love now, love always.
Along the way, we talk about the hard and holy parts of adoption—telling the truth from the start, helping a child navigate identity and race, answering big questions about life and death, and letting love multiply instead of divide. We also preview Haven Acres, a first-of-its-kind retreat to connect safe haven adoptees and their families, creating community where kids can share a story few classmates will ever understand.
If you’re curious about Safe Haven Baby Boxes, modern adoption, or what it takes to build trust in the most fragile moments, this conversation is for you. Listen, share with someone who needs hope today, and if our mission resonates, please subscribe, leave a review, and consider supporting at shbb.org. Your voice helps more families find their yes.
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This is Monica Kelsey from Beyond the Box. We're in the studio today with some of my favorite people, Jennifer and Mario, the adoptive parents of our third baby ever surrendered in a baby box. Thank you guys so much for joining us.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, no problem. Yeah, thank you for having us.
SPEAKER_01:I'm super excited to uh to interview you guys. So uh for those who don't know who you are, why are you guys so important to Monica Kelsey? Because we've adopted one of her babies. As we can hear them in the background, your kids who uh uh are back there with Uncle Joe. So they uh our studio um is quite small, and so we might hear some little kids' you know voices back there, but uh this is rolling, this is real, this is reality, right? Oh, yeah. Our reality. What a blessing, though. You know, what a blessing. And we have a dog in here too. So I mean, anything's possible, anything could happen at this point. Well, okay, so uh so let's go back um for our listeners who don't really know a whole lot about you. Okay. Um, and um, you know, before Gracie. So who is Mario and Jennifer? Where did you guys meet? How long have you guys been together? And why adoption?
SPEAKER_03:Mario and Jennifer were uh high school sweethearts um who separated for about 10 years and um ended up back together. Um it's been about 13 years now, and adoption was what we felt was the only option because I have PCOS and was told that um I would never have kids of my own. So after years of trying and you know, attempting to defy what doctors would say, we had decided that adoption was the best option. And from there we went to what it was maybe 2017 when we started.
SPEAKER_00:I think so, yes.
SPEAKER_03:About 2017, we had decided we were gonna go through. Sorry about that. That's the wild one over there.
unknown:Shh.
SPEAKER_03:Oh my god. Um, we decided that we were gonna look into uh adopting a gay child that was within foster care, within the system, and we had started our journey. Um, the reading stories one after the other, meeting children here and there, thinking that we would be a good match, and then something fell through all the time that happened about how many times would you say? Three to five times?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I want to say it was about four times.
SPEAKER_03:Um, that we thought that we thought that that was that was our kid. You know, we were they were gonna come home with us and everything was gonna be great, and it just didn't happen. So at about the point when I, so more than he was, was just ready to completely give up. Felt that it would never happen, um came across a story about a baby that was placed in that was placed in a baby box, maybe five miles away from our home. And didn't think that it would happen. And he told me to keep my hopes down because he didn't want to see me get hurt. Uh, but uh she ended up coming home with us about a month after that happened.
SPEAKER_02:I'm so sorry.
SPEAKER_01:That's okay. That's all right. You do you okay? So what we can do is we can just put them in the is that okay? Yeah, that's fine. I can always black them their faces out if you want to. No, we're worried, we're not worried about that, Monica. Okay, that's fine. It's fine. I appreciate it. Thank you. This way, this way, you know, we can we can everybody can see the chaos that's happening at St. David baby boxes right now. Hi Gracie. So, okay, so before you guys um decided to adopt, you guys tried to have kids. Yes, and it just wasn't a possibility for you guys. No, no. And so um you guys decided to look into uh foster care adoption. Yes. So you heard that there was a baby placed in a baby box.
SPEAKER_03:Yes. As a matter of fact, I read the whole story, the whole article that came out. Um I want to say it was maybe the day after, because Gracie's birthday is September 6th. And I want to say it might have been September 7th that I read the news article about a baby that was placed in a baby box that uh just five miles away from the house. At the time I had no idea about safe haven baby boxes. It was so new that I don't think many people did know. So I went to Mario and I was like, Oh my god, did you hear about this? You know, what if that's why we've been having such a hard time? And he told me, he's like, Well, don't get your hopes up. I don't want to see you get hurt again. I was like, okay, he goes, but we could submit for the baby, no problem. And within within just a couple weeks, we were called by DCS and they wanted to interview us along with quite a few other families. And um just the next day after the interview, they called and were like, you know, we just decided that out of all of them, you guys were the best of it. You know, so we're gonna go ahead and get this going, and hopefully, baby will be home soon. That following week, she was they brought her home to us. And uh, she's just been the biggest blessing to us in the world.
SPEAKER_01:So you get the call that um there was a baby place in the baby box. Now, for those who don't know me, Gracie is uh baby number three. Yes. So Gracie was the third baby ever surrendered in a safe haven baby box, and so you're pretty special, Gracie. You are because you were only the third baby ever. And uh and um and you you want to know where Aunt Monica was when you were surrendered in the box? I was in I I was in Cozumel. I was in New Mexico I was in Mexico when you were placed in the box. I was. I didn't hear for six hours. Uncle Joe got the call and was waiting for me to check in. So I was out living the life in the sun in Cazumel and you were surrendered by your your birth mom. And so uh I remember that day uh getting the call because I, you know, and hospitals are always unique because hospitals don't get utilized a whole lot for our baby boxes. No, and it's they're very they're very high, you know, the the security systems. It's always hard for us to get a uh a hospital to agree to change their cameras, you know, because you cannot have a camera on a baby box. Right. We we mandate that. If you want to do the program, you have to agree to that part. And uh, and so having Gracie be the first baby surrendered in a baby box at a hospital was just kind of like, okay, w women are gonna trust us, women are gonna utilize the service at hospitals. This is definitely uh uh an important part of you know saving the baby box's mission. Um, okay, so tell me about the day that you guys got to bring her home. Because that that to me would be the day that I'd probably lose it.
SPEAKER_03:Well, that one, come on, you gotta tell the story. It's way better when you tell the story. Oh, so the day that she came home.
SPEAKER_00:So the the day that she came home, I was actually getting uh released uh from an accident that I was in uh at work. So we were at the doctor, and the doctor was taking forever to come in and he came in talking about sports. I'm like, okay, I don't care about sports. So, you know, we knew that she was coming home. So it's like I need to be released now because uh her caseworker was on the way to our house. So he finally, okay, you know, uh he he finally uh said that it was okay for for me to go back to work full-time. So now we're rushing home. I think we're about 45 minutes away from the house. I think I got there in like 25 minutes. Uh not saying I was speeding, but never gonna agree to that.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_00:So uh so we got home and there was nobody there. And uh, you know, we had cameras at the house. So now we're we're staring out the window, looking at the monitor. You know, where is this random car? We had no clue who was even.
SPEAKER_01:So they just told you to show to that they were just gonna show up at your house.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and they they didn't tell us what vehicle they're driving. You know, we knew it was our caseworker, right? But we didn't know what vehicle was gonna uh show up.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:So I see a black, I think it was a black car pull up in front of the house. I was like, I think that's them. We've ran outside and it was a caseworker with uh with another caseworker, I believe. Yes, and they they had her in a car seat, they pull her out of the uh, they pull her out of the car, set her down on the ground. So now I'm looking at them and I'm like, Can I pick her up? They're like, Yeah, this is your baby, of course. Pick her up. So I grabbed the car seat. I think I ran in the house. So you know, that they followed me inside, and we're talking to her caseworker. So I'm like, is it okay if I pull her out of the car seat? They're like, sir, yes, you can pull her out of the car seat. This is your child. I was still in shock. So now I pick Grace up and I'm just holding her and staring at her. And then, you know, the caseworker's talking, uh uh talking to her, and then what the caseworker left, and I'm still standing there staring at Grace. I want to say I was staring at her for like three hours straight. I just focused in on Grace. Then I hear her in the background kind of crying. I'm like, what's wrong with you? You didn't let me hold Grace, you're still holding her. I didn't realize I was standing there for so long, just staring at Grace. And even uh uh today, like I will pick Grace up and I still stare at her the same way, you know, from the first day she came home. She always asked me, Dad, why why are you staring at me? Well, baby, I've been staring at you for like this for six years. You know, I don't think that'll that will ever change, but yeah, that that day was something else. Yeah, I loved it.
SPEAKER_03:Now I know that when he says that it was just a really long time, most people probably think, Oh, maybe a few minutes. No, we're talking hours. It was like three to four hours that he sat there holding her with me just watching them.
SPEAKER_00:I kind of just come on, dad. Right. I kind of just blacked, you know, blacked everything out. I was just staring at her.
SPEAKER_01:You you hogged Gracie for four hours.
SPEAKER_00:Absolutely, I did.
SPEAKER_01:And so when did when did you get to hold her?
SPEAKER_03:Um, it was already late, sun was already going down, so I got to hold her. Um now and going through all of this, we didn't tell anybody because we had gotten our hopes up so many times prior that we were like, you know what, let's just not say anything about this. So we decided to go and visit grandma and grandpa just maybe seven hours after she had come home. We we stopped over my parents' house because they live maybe three minutes away. And we come up with a baby and they're just looking like, what are you guys doing? Who is this? I thought this is your grandbaby. My parents just sat there and stared at her, and they looked at me, they go, My God, she looks just like you when you were a baby. It was just a beautiful thing.
SPEAKER_01:You know, I think um I think that's by design, Christ by design. You know, when adoption happens, that the children look like the parents, you know. Growing up, my mom, everybody said I look just like my mom. I I was adopted. I know I don't look like a mom, you know, but it but but for us, you know, it it really was. And then uh I had Bruce and Shelby, baby Maya's mom. She's the other baby that was in the Hammond baby boat. Okay, yeah. Um uh last week on. And Maya literally looks like their youngest daughter, and it's their biological daughter. So it's kind of like you guys. You guys have you guys went on to have another child, and um, and she looks just like this child. I mean, it's like I just think that it's by design. Oh, yeah, you know, that that these kids look like their adoptive parents. They they do because even um I love them to death.
SPEAKER_03:Uh, the Higgs family, baby Nola, I think looks just like just like her mom. Yes. And I it's it's just so beautiful. Every time we get together with any of the kids and we get to see them, the amount of these safe haven babies that look like they can just be biological children. Yep, it it amazes me. Yep, it amazes me so much. Like even with Gracie, and to this day, people will tell me, Oh my god, she does look like you. Are you sure you didn't? She looks like you spit her out. Like, nope, I didn't. Not sure who did, but she's gorgeous. They tell me, they used to tell me all the time, you never have to let her know. Like, I'm not gonna keep it a secret. Not gonna keep it a secret from her, you know, and then we ended up with one of our own. So how could I keep it a secret from her? Because now she's well, mommy, how come you don't got pictures of when you were pregnant with me? How come where's this at? How come we don't have this from me being little? It would have to come out eventually.
SPEAKER_01:Well, and I think I think you guys not telling her the truth would have been harder for her. I think so too. You know, might not have been today, it might have been easier today, right? But one day it would have been hard for her. Oh, yeah, you know. Um, but clearly she she belongs with you. Clearly, this is the case. I mean, and she she you're right, she does look. I mean, she's almost got her dad's hair. I mean, and and Mario, you knew I was gonna bring up the hair because every woman watching this episode right now is gonna look at your hair and go, where did you get this? Is this real?
SPEAKER_00:It's all natural. It's all natural.
SPEAKER_01:This is you're this is nuts.
SPEAKER_00:Like and I really don't do much to my hair. You know, just washed it. Yeah, I wash it and put mousse in. You know, that's about it.
SPEAKER_01:Has it always been like this?
SPEAKER_00:Uh no, so this was a bet between us about 10 years ago. I think I used to always shave my head. I never knew I could have.
SPEAKER_01:I've never seen you with a shaved head, Mario. Oh my gosh. So it's I need to see pictures.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, it's been the very same. You know what? Now with now I've got to find one real quick. Yeah, you know, now with these two, I can't cut my hair. I have to keep my hair long.
SPEAKER_01:They know you like that.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_01:Well, every woman in America today is looking at your hair, going, where do I get one of those? His favorite are the comments from the bald-headed men online. Yeah, that'd be classic. Uh careful, baby. Um, okay, so you bring Gracie home and uh um introduce her to your family. How long did it take you guys to adopt? When was the adoption?
SPEAKER_03:She was six months old when we got to adopt her. When it was finalized, um, our process in our county was one of the first with the give given situation, one of the first baby box babies. So um everything went through oddly, really quickly in comparison to most.
SPEAKER_01:Well, even today. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:It's not yeah, I know I know that that's not that's not even the process now in our county anymore with the kids, but I like to just say that we were really lucky with the whole thing. She was just meant to be with us. Yeah. Um, you know, because six months, even even a regular adopting adoption takes longer than that. And yeah, by January of 2020, she was she was ours.
SPEAKER_01:January of 2020. Wow. Yeah, that goes back.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, I think it was only three months. No. We got her in November. No, no.
SPEAKER_03:We got her in October.
SPEAKER_00:Well yeah, October. Okay. Four months?
SPEAKER_03:September. Oh, yeah, four months. Four months. Four months. That's unheard of.
SPEAKER_01:But you guys had nobody that was against it. No, nobody that was fighting it.
SPEAKER_03:No.
SPEAKER_01:And uh, and so that makes it a little bit easier. Yes. So you want to sing for us, Gracie?
SPEAKER_03:Oh, she loves to sing. You love to sing her favorite. She is hooked on Ozzy Osborne right now. Ozzie.
SPEAKER_01:You like Ozzy Osbourne? Get out. Do you know some Ozzie Osbourne songs you can sing us? No.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, yeah. Yeah, she does.
SPEAKER_01:No more tears. Crazy train. Crazy train.
SPEAKER_03:Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_03:She'll sing it off the top of her lungs.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, so so you guys uh have the adoption. When did you guys decide to go public with this adoption? Because you were one of the first families to go public with the adoption.
SPEAKER_03:Okay, so that one is another funny story. Um, we didn't think we were going completely public when it happened. Um, it was a family friend of Mario's who had contacted him, and we really thought that we were putting out a story that was gonna go to kids that are up for adoption to give them some hope. Little did we know that that was a reporter for the local newspaper.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And we had already given uh given the okay to go go ahead and publish the story. And we just didn't realize until later that it was it was um a newspaper. So it went public. It went within within a week, within a week's time from uh the adoption, everybody knew about it. We were contacted left and right from news sources and like television channels and the amount of people that I that we turned away because they were they were honestly on a they were getting a bit intrusive. Like they they wanted in in our lives, they wanted to be in our home, in our front yard. And I was like, no, that no, you know.
SPEAKER_01:Like I sometimes you have to draw a line.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, you know, and me given given the situation, and you know, we just wanted to bring awareness at that point now that it was public. We had decided that we're it is what it is, it's public now. Um, but from here on out, anything that we do was gonna be for you guys to bring awareness to safe haven baby boxes. None of that was put public to a lot of people had um backlashed us and said that we did it for what people would give to us. We got nothing, absolutely nothing out of coming public, and that wasn't what we were looking for. We weren't looking for 15 minutes of fame or anything or to be looked at as saints for what we did. That wasn't it. To us, we were just completing our family. So from then on, you know, I tell you all the time we are so grateful to you guys because without what you do, she wouldn't have been possible. I'm sorry, I know so from that point on, we knew that we would do anything for you and for your foundation. So anything from then on that we did do publicly, it was because you asked that.
SPEAKER_01:Well, you guys have just been amazing through all of this, and um and the amount of awareness that you guys have brought bringing Gracie's story to light I think brings hope. Um thank you, Gracie. Um that's a moment in itself. Are you gonna sit here with me? You can sit here with me. She's got her own mic now. Lord help us all. Maybe she'll stay a little quieter now. She's over here by Miss Monica. No, she's not going to, she says. No. So um Did you guys get backlash?
SPEAKER_03:N not directly towards us, but now you know. I mean, you know, everybody's a keyboard warrior nowadays. I know that better than anybody. Yeah, exactly. So it was, it was a lot of people backlashing. I mean, I refuse to look at any of the comments that were put on these news articles and anything because even even without us um allowing the news anchors to come into our lives, they still posted stories about us. Um, and there was nothing we could do about it at that time. It was public domain, it was on the internet, pictures of us were there. So there was no way for us to stop it at that point. So, you know, it was what it was. And um, we just tried to look at what the benefits of it. It was still giving awareness that these boxes are out there and that mothers in need had an option, right? Which was all we wanted. Um, so the backlash would come in comments under these articles.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And a lot of them, like they were brought to our knowledge by our family and close friends, like, hey, you know, just this is what's going on. Um, and I I would tell everybody, just quit reading them. People are people are ugly.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:People are ugly on not just on the outside, people are ugly inside. Just leave them be because there's something about themselves that they don't like, and it's not our problem. So let them say their ugly things. We know the truth, and that's all that matters. And it was a lot of just like now, um, every time you guys say happy birthday to one of our babies, somebody's on there. Oh, you guys are just exploiting them. This is exploitation of that child, not what we're doing. We're not exploiting them at all. Right. You know, at some point, Gracie's gonna have a choice. Like she she has a choice now. If she doesn't want to, she doesn't want to. All right, that's fine, baby, no problem. You know, and and back then it was never exploiting, never, and nothing to diminish what these biological mothers have done in any means. You know, they we I tell Gracie all the time, baby, we love her. She we had a conversation just a couple weeks ago because she is very curious now, and she questions everything. And she has she has asked about her biological mom, and she's even asked me, well, mommy, you know, I don't know her, but can I love her? Absolutely, you can love her, you know, and she's well, does she love me? And I tell her all the time, absolutely, she absolutely loves you. She loved you back then, she'll love you forever, baby. And I, you know, I don't know who she is. And I've told Gracie all the time, like, look, baby, we may never know who she is, but we will always know that she loves you forever. She loves you so much, just like I do, you know, just like daddy does. She they of course she loves you, right? So we pray for her. We always have since Gracie started school. She prays and prays for her biological mother. Um we don't keep it a secret from her. There's you know, these keyboard warriors that think that, you know, it's though this is a terrible thing. They just have no idea how helpful it is. You know, like things happen. These mothers aren't expecting to become whether it's single mothers, young mothers, um, you know, we don't we don't know what their situation is. We don't we don't know what they're going through, only they do. And there's no reason to demean what they're doing and demean their choices in placing these babies in boxes or getting a hold of you guys for a safer option. You know, it's they need that, especially now.
SPEAKER_01:You know, I don't think people truly get, you know, like you said, they think that we're doing this for some other reason than for the reason itself. And that's one to normalize it. Yeah. You know, we can't keep hiding these kids. No, because they're not going away, you know. And it's like Gracie has a um, she's got a story to tell. Absolutely. And if she, you know, when she gets older, if she doesn't want to tell it, then she doesn't have to tell it. It's her choice. Um, but you know, for us, we're thankful that you guys allow her to tell her story because it does bring hope to the moms that get to see how healthy and happy and loved Gracie is. Yeah. You know, because that's what we see with these kids. We don't see these kids going into homes that are just not good homes. That's not what we see at all. Right. You know, we see them going into homes where these parents are, you know, they're their parents. Oh, yeah, you know, and and they love them. And it's never a dull moment. There's well, and you know what, that just kind of goes with safe haven baby boxes too. Because we just roll with it. Right. That's how we've always done it. We just roll with it. He's we're not polished. We don't try to be polished. If we were polished, we these girls would be sitting out there in the chairs outside. You know, it's like, oh yeah. Who cares? Who cares? I mean, this is what it's all about anyway.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, if you guys could see right now, Gracie's down there with the dog, letting the dog lick her in the mouth. I mean, this is reality. This is what it's all about. I mean, uh, so um, so going back to something that you had said, um, where, you know, we were talking about, you know, when you guys posted on social media how the media is very intrusive. Yes. And they really, really are. They can be terrible, like absolutely terrible. And I'm glad that you stood your ground and said no when you were feeling like it was too much because some parents allow them to just take over. And and it's like, no, you have to set your boundaries. You have to set the boundaries ahead of time because media will just be just crazy. I actually had, I'm just gonna call it out why, why, why not, right? World News contacted us and they did a story a couple of years ago and it was terrible, literally terrible. Oh, yeah. And uh, and they called us and said, Hey, we want to do another have you lost your mind? No, we're not doing another story with you. You've literally, and they're like, Well, we we think you'd be a great big no, we're not being a part of it. You can look at anything you want publicly, but you're not getting behind the scenes at all. Right. Forget it. And so, you know, I think we have to stand our ground, especially as um, you know, people that that what's the word I'm I'm looking for without sounding just craziness, is um we we have we have to we have to set our, you know, set it our personality. But we have we have to we have to set our boundaries because if we don't they'll they'll continue to to one tear us down. Oh yeah, they'll find the smallest piece of you know discrepancy and just tear it apart, you know. Uh but so Mario, you're not saying much back there. I mean you're probably just sitting here watching the chaos unfold. Man a few words. Man of few words, it's not such a bad thing. So, okay, so let me let me ask you. So you guys invited us um to uh Gracie's first birthday party. Yes. Okay. Um, and we came. Okay, you know, we weren't we weren't missing it. What was your family? Because your family didn't get a chance to meet us, you know, when you guys brought Gracie to the uh the motorcycle event that we had. Um, you guys came by yourselves. What was your family like when they met the the people behind the boxes?
SPEAKER_00:Uh honestly, I'm not too sure. I mean, they probably thought that you you were just part of the family.
SPEAKER_01:You have a very large family. We probably did just blend in.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. I think you guys did. I honestly don't remember anybody saying too much.
SPEAKER_01:They're probably like, who's that? Oh, who cares?
SPEAKER_00:You know, we told them who you guys were, you know, and they they just welcomed you guys, like you you guys are part of the family.
SPEAKER_01:And that well, and that's what that's the point I was coming across to make was was you guys have always opened up, and your family has just been like, Come on in, like grab a burger, like grab a grab a hot dog, you know. And being able to to be at her first, you know, first birthday uh was uh literally just you know the fruit of our labor, you know, to be able to see that and to share it and and to share her and and just just be able to love on her. You know, I have this picture on my phone uh of my mom and Gracie.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, yeah. That was for your birthday party.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Me, my mom, and Gracie. And uh and my mom has that on her phone too. And it's just like, yeah, it's like it just that's the fruit of our labor. It's not, you know, in front of the cameras, it's what happens behind the cameras, you know, the the the moments that we live for here. The memories that we get to keep forever. Yeah, yeah, it is. And you know, kind of like this, you know, this is chaos. But this is I'm I'm sorry, but I'm gonna remember this interview forever. There's no doubt about it. There's no goals and girls, they're crazy. Oh my gosh. I'm gonna be like, Jesse, do not ever they are not allowed here anymore. You have a babysitter for them next time. She told me she was gonna. Oh, so she, so yeah, you'll have to get. I'm probably shouldn't say this on air, but Jesse had a date. Oh Jesse's single, so we're kind of hooking her up. Okay. Yeah, so I was like, Yeah, we got this. We're good. We got this. You go do your thing. And she, yeah, so she flew out and went to a wedding with this guy. And I don't know, I haven't heard. Oh hopefully, she's still alive. I was gonna say because I don't think she even knew the guy. I mean, it was like I might have to cut this part out. Uh, but usually, yeah, the last uh she watched, she usually watches the kids for us. Okay. This was kind of an important thing where she was like, Well, should I reschedule them? And I'm like, nah, we're good. Yeah, we're good. We'll figure it out. We always do, we always figure it out. We'll go. Gracie's usually real good about uh keeping the little one entertained. Yeah. Well, and she's about that age too, where she's that big sister that you're you're gonna, she's you know, the little one's gonna look up to and uh it's it's serious business between the two of them.
SPEAKER_03:Like uh they don't do anything wrong in each other's eyes. It's it's pretty funny. Is it? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So so what's uh what's what's Gracie like? I mean, tell me a little bit about Gracie and you know her the things that you love about her. Like I'm sure there's a lot.
SPEAKER_03:There's well, you know, everybody gets a different version of her. Oh, really? Yeah, like with me, she is very unhinged and out there and obnoxious.
SPEAKER_01:But but you looked just a minute ago and you were crying, and she came and wiped your tear.
SPEAKER_03:The sweetest little thing in the world. She knows, um, she knows when to turn it on and off.
SPEAKER_00:But now with him, she is like she's like the perfect angel. She does nothing wrong, and she really doesn't.
SPEAKER_01:You know, she are you just not paying attention?
SPEAKER_00:No, absolutely. She's right in front of me. And yeah, no, she's she's completely fine with me.
SPEAKER_01:You pull it, you can put if you want to sit back, just pull back to you. There you go.
SPEAKER_00:Well, yeah, no, she's uh she's completely fine with me. Yeah, she doesn't act up around me. I I don't know what it is.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I don't, yeah. It's she is let me tell you. All right, so I probably shouldn't be telling this, but no. You've known me long enough, Monica, to know that I do not have the perfect language.
SPEAKER_02:No, no, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_03:I mean, that's why we get along so well. Exactly. So Gracie has picked up on this. Oh no. And she doesn't, she knows when to not do it. Right. But when it's just her and mommy, it's it's all the time I gotta look at her and say, Grace, we can't talk like that, baby. But I can't get mad at her because I know where it's coming from. That's all me. It's all me. Unfortunately, but that makes but that makes you check yourself. It does, you know what I mean? It does me, because then I'm like, oh, now I've got to be hyper aware of what is coming out of my mouth when we are not behind closed doors.
SPEAKER_01:Well, and I think that's what kids do to us too. Oh, yeah. Is they show us what we're doing wrong because they're the they're implementing exactly what we're doing.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, you know, and it's not like she thinks it's all right, she knows it's not because she doesn't, and then she laughs or like she'll hide her face from me. So she knows exactly what she's doing. But on the other end, she is so sweet and so helpful. And even in school, her teachers told us that she is the first one ready to be engaged and to answer the questions and to help her classmates out. Um, just she's amazing.
SPEAKER_01:She's you know, just having her run around safe haven today. She's uh she's gotta be uh just one of the the kids that I I honestly I think she's she's she's gonna be the one that surprises us in what she does when she gets older because she's very intrigued with what she's I mean, she's like, what is this? You know, it's like she's she she wants to know more all the time, you know, wants to know more. And and for her to be asking at the age of six about her birth mom, you know, so young, she comprehends this. She understands the um the uh uh hi the um uh what's the other why am I not being able to get my words out today? Because it's Sunday. Sunday, yeah. Um, but you know, the the the depth, I guess, is uh one word that's not the one I was looking for, but that'll order.
SPEAKER_03:But the depth of a safe haven surrender, you know, she understands for a six-year-old, and and this has been going on for years, she understands far more than um than most kids her age. Uh she understands the difference in life and death. Um empathy, like she she gets it. She absolutely gets it. Uh a few years ago, one of my uncles had passed away, and she didn't really know him, but she knew that I was sad, and she knew grandpa was sad. So in that, she was really sad. So it took her down this whole, you know, she started asking questions about life and death, and she understands that um that her grandmother, Mario's mother, passed away, and she asked questions about that, and she understands, like she understands all of that. And at first, like I was floored because to me at five and six, you you don't need to be concerned with that. No, you know, but she is very curious, and I refuse to dim her curiosity. So, whatever question she asks, I will do my hardest to answer it for her. Right now, she gets on this kick with it. If I don't have the answers and our daddy doesn't have the answers, we gotta ask Google. You gotta ask Google.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yes.
SPEAKER_03:Because Google knows everything.
SPEAKER_01:That's the smartness coming out in her.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, and she does it. Like, well, and if I don't remember right away, she'll tell me later, mommy. Remember, we have to ask Google about this. Like earlier on our way out here, she asked me, What sound does a walrus make? I don't know what sound a walrus makes. She goes, Well, can we ask Google later? Yes, we can ask Google later. Wait till she discovers Chat GPT.
SPEAKER_01:She'll be writing her own book. Oh my god. She probably will one day. Oh my gosh. So, uh, so what's next for Mario and Jennifer? More kids?
SPEAKER_03:Probably not.
SPEAKER_01:Two girls is enough. No man in the house besides yourself there, Mario. And a dog. Do you have a dog at least? A male dog?
SPEAKER_00:No, a cat.
SPEAKER_01:Is it male?
SPEAKER_00:No, female.
SPEAKER_01:Of course. You need a male. Well, thank you guys, you know, for coming all this way. Absolutely. Thanks for having us. For for showing us your your chaos that happens at home. And uh the uh the blessings that have come from it. Oh yeah. We should just let her run this thing. I mean, between nobody would understand her except Sissy. I've got Sissy. Yeah. She can say Sissy. And she can say Harper. Can you say Harper? Harper? Oh no. She's not gonna try it now. Heck no.
SPEAKER_03:Did we ever tell you that when when I did a pregnant, Gracie knew before everybody?
SPEAKER_01:No, you did not.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, Gracie knew before everybody. And she was only three at the time. Um she she just out of nowhere one day started telling me, Oh, mommy, you got a baby. I said, No, I don't, I can't have a baby. She's you know, mommy, you have a baby. Every every day for at least a month, she was telling me that I had a baby in my belly. And I kept telling her, but the mommy can't have a baby in her belly. That's no, it's not possible. Like, you hope but you do, mommy. Every day. This is daily conversation. And um clearly, you guys weren't trying.
SPEAKER_01:No, just it was like, if it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't.
SPEAKER_03:So this was gotta be a complete shock. It was so you know, I kept telling her, I was like, No, she's like, No, you do. And I told her one day, I was like, No, mommy's just chunky, it's fine. Like, mommy just likes food, it's okay. And um, and then finally I was like, you know what? What harm is taking a pregnancy test? So it came out positive, and I was in complete denial until I was already maybe three months along. We went to go and get the sonogram, and she looked at us and she goes, because she went with us because I told you you had a baby.
SPEAKER_01:I'm telling you, I'm telling you, she is going something about Gracie. She's gonna change the world. Like, she's gonna be the one that surprises us all with like being I I don't know, but we're gonna slip back and we're gonna be like, oh my goodness, like we knew she was special, we just didn't know it was this. You know what I mean? Like, like we know she's special. Absolutely. She's but she's gonna be the one that surprises. I also say a lot of times um that one of these kids that have come through our baby box is gonna run safe haven baby boxes and take it to the next level when I retire. Because I have to, I mean, I'm not gonna do this forever and I can't take it with me when I go. And uh um who knows, maybe that one will be Gracie. It might be, you know, she's what, six? Yes. So she she just turned six a couple months ago. Yeah. And um, and so literally 12 years. Yeah. Oh, you know, 12 years, she could be my gosh, wouldn't that just be the icing on the couch? I think she's way smarter though. I think she's got bigger plans. Christ has bigger plans for her. Um, but I I'm gonna sit back with my popcorn and just watch because I'm gonna be like just so proud. I'm gonna be like the proud aunt, you know, like that's my girl. But she's she's gonna do amazing things. I really think so. And I think I think you guys just have just been able to give her just such a gift. Um well, and allowing her to kind of explore herself, that just opens it up.
SPEAKER_03:You know, it's the most beautiful thing to watch her too, even even with school, she's excelled so much, so much. She said she comes home with homework. I know by the way, I've been told it's just kindergarten. I'm like, yeah, but where she goes, they don't play. So yeah, she comes home with homework daily and she sits there, she gets it done like this.
SPEAKER_01:That doesn't surprise me either.
SPEAKER_03:She just flies through it. Like she's um reading at almost a first grade reading level already. So you know, she's so smart. So smart.
SPEAKER_01:Is there any question though that's ever come up that she's asked you that just like took you back?
SPEAKER_03:Like, ooh, you know, honestly, when she started asking about life and death, what was it for me? I just sat there like at her age. I would have never especially to even bother trying to comprehend it. And she just she just dove right into it, you know, like, well, why did he why did they pass away? Where are they now? Can they still see me? Um, are they with Jesus? Did God take them? But why? Was it just their time? And then recently, and it wasn't the first time that she had asked about it, but recently when she started asking about her biological mother, um, she just asked every right question that you would expect an adult to ask. Well, why do you think that that happened? But she loved me anyway. Like, yeah, baby. So I explained the whole thing to her, the whole thing as best as I can. Um, you know, that your biological mommy took care of you. She took care of you while she was pregnant because she loves you and she decided that you needed a better life than she can give to you. Well, can I meet her one day? She's so curious. Like, you know, one day maybe maybe we can try. Well, do you know what she looks like? All the time she asks me, I'm like, baby, I I don't I don't know anything about her. I don't, and that's fine. But what we do know is that she loves you, she'll always love you, just like mommy does. But these those those are the ones that have just taken me back. Like, oh my god, you know, what kid your age is curious about any of that stuff. Yeah, she is.
SPEAKER_01:Well, but that just kind of goes to show you that you guys have allowed her to just be herself and ask whatever she wants and answer those questions for her. You're not saying, well, that's the you know, there's a time and a place for me to talk about it. It's not now. You know, it's like there are parents that do that, and you guys haven't. You guys have just opened up your, you know, your your your your world to hey, whatever question she asks is the question I'm gonna answer as best I can. Oh, yeah, you know. So so that brings up a good question though. You know, if her birth mom was listening, what would you say to her? That we love you.
SPEAKER_03:I think I'm sorry, Monica.
SPEAKER_01:We need more Kleenexes in here for you, girlfriends.
SPEAKER_03:For me, because it just it fills me with so much joy, Monica. And I think I tell you this every time we talk. I love that woman more than anything.
SPEAKER_01:I wish I had Kleenexes in here. I cannot wear my sleeves.
SPEAKER_03:I think that's the only question that can make me like ugly cry is when we talk about her. Because to this day, just like like I said from the beginning, I don't know who she is. I might see her on a daily basis. Right. I have no idea who she is, but I love her more than anything. Especially because that little girl out there is the biggest gift I could have ever had. You know, that woman gave me she gave me an opportunity that at the time I didn't think would ever be possible. And I love her. I love her, and Gracie loves her. You know, and Gracie asked about her all the time. All the time. She tells me about me. Recently, she told me mommy, is it okay that I love her? Absolutely, it's okay that you love her. Mommy loves her too. Always tell her that. So if she is listening, we love you. More than you'll ever understand.
SPEAKER_01:That was beautiful.
SPEAKER_03:Thank you.
SPEAKER_01:That I I don't see how she wouldn't feel that. You know, I really don't. As especially as genuine as that is. And you know, I mean, she may be listening, but we never know.
SPEAKER_03:I hope she is.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:I hope she is. And if she is or at least watching, I hope that she was able to see Gracie too.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Well, um, you know, I I I think if she's watching or if she's listening, she's gonna know how I think she's gonna be thankful for you guys. Oh, I hope. For you know, for giving Gracie what you guys have given her and raising her as your own. Absolutely. You know. Um, so you know, we we talked a little bit today about Haven Acres. Yes. And this project that we are getting ready to undertake. And it sounds like an amazing thing. And so can you see yourselves and Gracie once a year coming to this retreat? Absolutely. Absolutely. You know, uh loving on other kids as safe haven babies, but also um getting to know the parents that are, you know, having the same challenges as you guys. Oh, yeah. You know, there is no safe haven retreat out there. There is nothing like that for moms who have surrendered or parents who have adopted safe haven babies. Now, there's adoption, you know, retreats and stuff like that, but nothing that specifically goes and helps moms who have surrendered or families who have adopted surrendered children. And so we think that uh this is gonna be such a blessing for not only you guys, but also for Gracie. Oh, yeah, and for her long term. Because, you know, when she's 18, 19 years old and one day she comes up to you guys and and she's like, Hey, I've been talking to such and such, and you know that this is another child, you know, that they've become connected with. Oh, yeah. Uh, for for her to be able to have friends that have the same story. The same story. The same story. I mean, you know, you have families, you know, that go to the same school where you know it's a single mom, you know, and they all there's a bunch of that. But you don't have two kids at the same school that were surrendered in a baby box. No, you know, and so having that relationship with, you know, the the other parents and the moms, um, and then the kids having the relationship with the kids. Oh, you know what I mean? I we think that this is gonna be just such an a uh such a blessing for you guys. And we always look at how we can help not only the birth moms, the kids, but also the families. Oh, yeah, you know, and uh, we just think that this is gonna be such a blessing for you guys. I can't wait for you guys to come to the first one. Like we're like so excited to start putting this together and uh it's it's gonna be an amazing thing. You know, we're also you know looking at you know, bringing in, you know, obviously different things for different, you know, uh kids, you know, fishing for boys and swimming and you know, um, just different things. So if you guys can think of something that would be beneficial for other families to have, you know, that we can kind of incorporate into this, that would be amazing, you know, and take your, you know, just think about it, you know, just think for the next, you know, six months on something that you guys don't have or don't see that would be a benefit for you guys. Not financial benefit, nothing like that, because I know that's not what you guys are about, but you guys are about, you know, making sure that Gracie understands. And and so what could help you guys with her? And so, um, and I don't want you to answer that right now because it's unless you have something like that that just pops in your brain.
SPEAKER_03:I don't, I don't, not right now. But I mean, honestly, Monica, I think that's gonna be such a beautiful thing to and you know, we've been involved with you guys since we've gotten Gracie, and I absolutely love being able to meet these other children and their families because there's there's one thing I know I know other families that have adopted kids, but I do, but it's not the same. It's not the same, no, it's not the same. Like these these children, these families, they have a they have a specific story that is so unique but so similar to one another that with other adoptions. We can't find that anywhere else. No, we can't find that story. These these babies, all babies are special and unique, but these babies are different. And they have that one thing that in the different areas that they are, you know, they're not gonna find that. They're not gonna find that with other kids. You know, no matter what. Um so to be able to get together and for them to just get to know each other and talk to each other and know that they have that one thing in common that they're never gonna find in another friend is gonna be so beautiful.
SPEAKER_01:I think so too. I think so too. Um I and I hope I hope it is something that um it can help them navigate the emotions that that they're gonna go through.
SPEAKER_03:That and questions and you know, because there's there's things now with Gracie's age that we go through, and I'm like, oh how do I deal with it? You know, how do how do I how do I talk to a six-year-old about this? How do I answer this question for her? Because she's got questions that I come from a big family. There's a lot of nieces and nephews, even her age, they don't have those questions. Right, they don't have those same questions. Right now we're going through a big one with uh the color of skin. And um it's a real big thing for her right now. And I just I try my hardest, like it's it's beautiful, baby, it's fine, it's beautiful, but it's not the same as mine, and it's a little bit different than daddy. So to her, it's a big it's a big thing right now for her. And you know, her her cousins aren't going through that specific problem, but she is. How do you explain that to a six-year-old? I don't know how.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, so well, and you know, DCS did a really good job because as a Hispanic family, yeah, you know, she looks Hispanic. Whether she is or not, we don't done, we don't know, right? But they did a really good job of putting her with a family where she could feel like she fit in. Yeah, you know, um, but I can understand, you know, because I don't know my ethnicity either. Right. You know, well, I guess that that's a lie. I did a DNA test. I did the the 23andMe and so I have a piece of paper that tells me, but I don't know specifically which side of the family is which, you know. But um, but I I I see where that can be a struggle, you know. I I see where that can be a struggle. Um, but I think you guys are just navigating it in a way where she's gonna she's gonna understand that, she's gonna respect that, and she's gonna, when she gets older, she's gonna appreciate that. That you guys were honest with her. You know, I I I hate it when people say I'm not gonna tell them till they're older. And I'm like, that is the wrong, that is, let me just say that is not what you should be doing. Because as a child who was adopted, and I have an older sister that is Mexican, right? Um, and I have a younger sister that's uh my parents' biological child, kind of like you guys. Right. We knew we were from the same family, and lying to me and telling me we were would have been the wrong thing for them to do. And so growing up, I knew I was adopted. And I think for me, it helped me to navigate and understand and appreciate that my parents weren't lying to me. They were, they were telling me the truth exactly as what they were told, you know. But for families that don't, and they just try to hide it, I just think that you're you're you're not being well, one, you're not being honest with the child, and they're they're gonna look at they're gonna look at you one day and and think, is anything that they're telling me the truth?
SPEAKER_00:Right.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So that was a I know Mario and I had talked about that many times, and that was one thing that I was I was scared of. And I remember you and I having one conversation, and and we had talked about it, and you told me, no, that'd be the best thing you can ever do for her. From that point on, I and Mario and I had made that decision that we will never keep it a secret from her because it is who she is, right? You know, she's not an adopted child, she's not an unwanted child, she's a love child, yeah, a very loved child with a very unique story. Yeah, you know, so we don't keep it from her. That and you know, the articles, everything's out there, it's public, right? So, what's gonna happen when she's 10 years old?
SPEAKER_01:And she googles herself herself, yeah, and then and then when she's gonna hate me, it's better if I deal with that already when I get her mad.
SPEAKER_03:She's I'm the worst mother, you know, right, right. Well, and you're really gonna be the worst mother if you didn't tell her. Oh, that that would tear me up. Tear me up, and I can only imagine what that would do to her to find out in such a way that that we didn't have her, right? You know, so yeah, of course, telling her was the best thing ever.
SPEAKER_01:My mom used to tell me that I didn't grow under her heart, I grew in it.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, that's beautiful. That is beautiful, yeah. That's so true. Because I tell her, I tell Gracie all the time, good, look, you didn't grow in my belly, but you're in my heart anyway. Yeah, you know, because she and she, you know, she gets it because she's seen me pregnant with this one. Which, you know, she started asking me. Um, thank you. That's so sweet of you. That's just the starts of her getting ready to bite me. Oh yeah, she usually warns me. But um, you know, aside from Gracie knowing before we knew that I was pregnant, she she seen the process of my belly growing, and she would start to get curious. Or even the picture from the hospital, she started asking me, Well, how where's mine at? I'm like, Well, baby, I'm unfortunately, I don't have one of those. I wish I did, but I don't. Right? Well, you know, why not? So it was it was a daily process that I would explain it to her. You know, mommy, just like mommy was pregnant with Sissy, your biological mommy was pregnant with you. And I hope that she's got pictures of it. You know, so and that's all I can do is just just hope that she does. And when Gracie's old enough and decides that she wants to still find her, I'm if you're listening, when she's old enough, I'm not gonna not let her look. I'm gonna she's she's gonna be able to make that own choice on her eye. Right. Um you know, and she that my baby, she's full of so much love. So much love. So I think that she'll love that woman anyway, no matter what. And she's told me a few times already that she does want to. I told her we'll just we'll wait until you're older.
SPEAKER_01:Yep. So when she's older. She reminds me of myself, I'm gonna tell you right now. She does because I told my parents from the youngest age that I was gonna find my biological mother and I was gonna wrap my arms around her and tell her I loved her because I knew that she loved me. Yeah, you know, and I didn't even know the whole story back in those days. Right. And I'm and Gracie doesn't know the whole story right now either. You know, but for me, I had, you know, I I look up to this woman, you know. Um, and and so I I see Gracie and I see a lot of myself and how I was feeling and and what Gracie's feeling. And I I think you guys are handling it exactly the way you should be handling it. I think you guys are just open and honest, and I think that's exactly what she needs because one day she's she's gonna be curious and she's gonna know that she can come to you for the truth. Oh, yeah, you know, and not not, is she telling me the truth because she lied about this or she lied about that? You know, it's like you're you're being as honest as you can. And she she knows that. Oh, yeah. You know, I mean, provided she tells me I'm a liar every once in a while. Well, I told my mother I hated her one time. She she reminds me of that to this day, and I'm 52, you know. She says, You remember when you yes, I do, mom. I remember that. Yes, and I apologize then and I apologize now, and I apologize a million times in between. You know, we all do things those, you know, that we we oh yeah just you know what though? If she ever says that to you, one thing that used to just tear me up, I would say, I hate you, and I'm gonna go look for my biological mother and blah, blah, blah, blah. And my mom goes, That's okay. I'll love you for the both of us.
SPEAKER_03:I told her that recently.
SPEAKER_01:I'll love you. That used to tick me off. So there you go.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I have because uh, you know, she's a child. They do things, they're they get obnoxious, you know, where she is an amazing young girl. She's still a child. Yes, she is. So not that long ago, she had done something, and I looked at her. I go, girl, if you don't stop it. And she got so mad at me. She's you know, you're just the absolute worst. I go, who taught you that word? She goes, Oh, you make me so angry. I look at her, I go, baby, that's okay. Mommy loves you anyway. Yeah, no matter how angry you are, I still love you. Yep. And and it does. It makes her just that much more annoyed. She usually just walks away from me.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. No, you're absolutely on the right track because I can see exactly what's going on in my own life back in those days as it's going in Gracie's today. Yeah. So yeah. Uh well, thank you guys again for coming all this way. Thank you for absolutely and trusting your story with us to be able to tell and to continue to tell, you know, Gracie's story of hope and love and adoption, you know, out of all of this. And we're absolutely doing a blooper grill from this episode. So um maybe just find us on TikTok because there's gonna be a blooper grill for sure on this episode. Maybe a few. Maybe we'll just do a few. Um, we've had the dog and two kids, and then my husband back in the back scraping the chair against the floor. So yeah, there's all that.
SPEAKER_03:Honestly, I can't wait to do this again for like, you know, when Gracie's 15. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Or Jesse's married. Or Jesse's married. Yes. Yes. She's gonna be like, I can't believe you. Like, I'm not sure you're even still alive. Text her and just say, So are you still around? Just making sure you're just so bad. Is he is he a nice guy? She's gonna kill me. She will kill me for telling you that. But it's the truth, you know, and you all for coming. Well, anyways, thank you guys again for coming all this way, and thank you for uh allowing us to tell your story and Gracie's. Thank you for having us.
SPEAKER_00:Thank you for having us.
SPEAKER_01:All right, this is Monica Kelsey from Beyond the Box with many blooper reels coming out of this episode uh of the oh my gosh. And there's another one. There's another blooper for you. Jennifer and Mario and Gracie and this little sweet thing that has a uh very high-pitched lungs. Um, so we'll uh we'll get some blooper reels out for you guys. But thank you guys so much for uh for joining us. Thank you guys so much for supporting us. And if you guys would like to donate to this crazy ministry that just brings these kids in the podcast, go to shbb.org and make a donation today. God bless you guys. We'll see you guys next time.